Priority: Pittsburgh

Today I had a "duh" moment. I really do enjoy spending time with my best friend. I didn't get to do that today and somewhere between the New River Gorge and the Pennsylvania state line - somewhere on that beautiful stretch of highway they call "19," I realized how much I enjoy spending QT with my honey!

Maybe the circumstances were perfect for it - quite a few to keep the lonely in the forefront of my mind: just me and my iPod, the New River Gorge, the setting of the sun and driving in the darkness, stopping to fill up and recognizing that very few others doing the same thing will even say hello, much less, look you in the eye. It's lonely on that West Virginia piece of real estate.

But now I'm near Pittsburgh. Now I'm stretched out on an air mattress in another friend's basement less than an hour away from the home field of the team I grew up loving to cheer for and still do! And I get to see them live on that field this Sunday! A dream come true ... But my best friend is at home with our little people.

She's not with me and although I'm really excited about being here and going to the game, I do wish she would have been able to be a part of this. She deserves it. Not because she's MY wife but because SHE's my wife.

Christ has called me to love my wife as He loved the church. That's one of the hardest things for me to understand as a husband and a Christian. Christ continues to love the church despite its efforts to minimize him. But, unlike Christ, how often do I make excuses to minimize my wife because of some supposed offense? I pray that my dysfunctional actions aren't the norm.

Thank God that He takes time like a long stretch of isolated road to remind us of what our priorities should be.

Excuses

            If you’re like me then you have a tendency – however slight – to put some things off. That’s what has happened to my efforts to maintain a daily writing schedule. One day I can wake up and decide that I want to go back to sleep. Another day I can choose to run rather than write. Still, another day can be spent doing absolutely nothing productive. Whichever excuse I use none seem to put me ahead of schedule and so I think about writing later in the day, kicking myself for not spending 15 or 20 minutes, nose to the grindstone, knocking out something incredibly enlightening.

            Excuses … that’s what becomes the norm when you don’t prioritize the events of your “time managed” life. Event Management. Time Management. Time Mismanagement. “It’s all the same. Only the names have changed.” It’s almost like that old Bon Jovi song, “Dead or Alive.” Without prioritizing what’s important – what has to be done before what should get done – all I ever get left with is what could have been done. Many years ago, when I was in the Navy, I took to heart a sign on our boat (USS Tortuga (LSD-46)) that spoke of the “7 Ps.”

“PRIOR PROPER PLANNING PREVENTS PISS POOR PERFORMANCE”

            Now, I’m sure it’s not politically correct to say it like that anymore. And I’m sure some folks will get down-right offended because I used a urine reference … but I hope the reality of the point is not lost in the choice of words that I use. Prepare. Plan. Prioritize. Don’t let your lack of preparation be the excuse that keeps you from being in a place to achieve greatness.

Emergencies

Yesterday I spent an hour of my life in the Emergency Room waiting area. A friend’s Mother was being admitted. Ours is a small town ER so I can only imagine what New York City, Chicago, Houston, or L.A. would be like but it just seemed like it took forever for anything to happen in there.

I was supposed to meet my friend to have coffee at 4pm and was on my way to meet him when he texted and let me know the situation. My immediate reaction was, “Man. I was really looking forward to hanging out with him.” But just as soon as that thought passed I began praying for his Mom as I made my way back home. About halfway through the prayer, the Spirit convicted me. He said, “What the flip phone do you think you’re doing? B is your friend. He’s also your pastor. Get over there and pray for and with him and his family.” Thank God the Spirit speaks to us.

It wasn’t that I was trying to avoid going. I simply had thought to myself that if B had wanted me there during this emergency then he would have told me to be there. But that’s what I do as a pastor, a chaplain – a friend. I go to where the hurting are and share – hopefully shine – the light of Christ. In an emergency, that’s even more needed. The reassurance that the Lord is sending people to minister to you on his behalf should be refreshing. I pray that it was for B and his family.

Once there, one thing kept entering my mind: what constitutes an emergency? Obviously, everyone who was trying to be admitted believed that they were smack-dab, in the middle of a major crisis or life-threatening emergency. B certainly believed that his Mother’s emergency should take priority over the other emergencies in that room (I agreed). But everyone was there for an emergency.

Triage wasn’t very impressive. It’s an understandable process but, nonetheless, it does not relieve the anxiety of those experiencing the trauma. Everyone wanted their individual emergency to take precedence over everyone else but how do you do it? I’d hate to be the crew that had to decide “who came first.”

What’s my emergency? What’s yours?

Virgin Falls

You ever have one of those days when you're reminded of what the simple things in life should be and why you should simplify your own life immediately upon the completion of the day or, at the very least, at the close of business for the specific event of which you might be in the middle?

A four and a half mile hike into the woods to see a 100+ foot waterfall appear from some hidden water source at the top of its descent and then disappear into the ground at its hungry base is an incredible way to have a wake up call with your wife.

Thursday was a perfect day to go into the woods: blue skies with an occasional white, puffy cloud, fall colors interwoven among the branches of towering trees, the rustle of fallen leaves under our feet as we made our way to our destination, and silence ... The silence that can only be found in the deepest parts of the forest - the silence that makes a twig sound like a sonic boom when it snaps under your foot.

The time away from "civilization" makes me appreciate things like that because right now I'm in the Imaging Center at CRMC with my Dad who's finding out how spread his Hodgkin's is. The silence - when it is quiet - is not reassuring. It's almost threatening because of the enemy which is being scanned - the fear that will always come with the word "cancer."

Some of the noise that is present is elevator music ... As if that genre of music is reassuring in the least. I love Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" but its words and melody do nothing to comfort the uncertainty in my mind about what's going to happen with my Dad. I have faith that he will be fine. God is good ... And his WILL will be done so there's no fear ... But that certainty only comes by faith in Jesus Christ!

All that to say ... Go out into the woods. Get back to your core

Meeting Chaplain Strong

So I'm sitting at the O'Charley's in Lebanon waiting to have a face-to-face with my Chaplain Recruiter. About two years ago in this same restaurant I met my National Guard Chaplain Recruiter for the first time ... Ah, memories.

This has been a challenging few weeks in regards to my package. I've stayed on top of getting the required documents to the recruiter but inevitably when you have to share your fate with others, others may not have the passion for your dreams that you do. You'd think I'd learn. God's still teaching me a lot about faith and patience: faith that He will remain faithful to what he's called me to do and He will complete his work and patience with those who He has placed in my path on the way to finishing what He started.

Praying for his will to be done should be closely followed by asking for the grace and strength to be obedient to his will.

Proverbs 27:15-16

September 27, 2011

Proverbs 27:15-16

“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike, to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.”

Proverbs 27:17

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

I’ve read this for years as separate issues: a quarrelsome wife as a completely different set of verses from “iron sharpens iron.” But today, for some reason, God spoke to me, through these verses, in a way that really blew my mind. I understand what the King was saying about a quarrelsome wife. For those of you who have been, are, or are planning to be married, you know what I’m talking about when I say sometimes you quarrel with your wife. Sometimes you might even say that your wife nags you (a continual dripping on a rainy day). Have you ever tried to rein her in? That’s the other part of the verse. Doing that is like “restraining the wind” or like trying to hold oil – any liquid – in your hand. Let me ask you guys: does your wife think you’re the continual dripping, quarrelsome, or about as able to restrain as the wind?

That series of questions sets up the next verse: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Having been to combat and having served a number of years with the military, I have come to truly appreciate this verse. There is an unexplainable bond that comes between men or women who have shed blood, sweat, and tears together. The same thing goes for those of us who play team sports. The shared experience can never be duplicated or replicated outside the bonds of those individuals who were present during the experience no matter to what extent the details are shared about that experience with non-participants.

I share my experience of combat more readily with other “green suiters” than with my wife because the ones with whom I would share have shed their blood as well. Translate that back to regular, everyday life. There are situations when a man needs encouragement from other men and only other men will be able to exhort their brother. Likewise, times prevent men from understanding what a woman experiences and women should find other women who can empathize with them more readily than a man.

The challenge then becomes finding that individual or individuals who can hold you accountable as well as build you up throughout your life. I’ve been fortunate on a few occasions to find such men. I hope to experience that again soon.

Galatians 6:9 - Doing Good

September 26, 2011

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” – Galatians 6:9

This was the word of the day sent out to some of the guys in the unit. It spoke to me today because it seems that often times – probably more often than not – I am quick to give up on doing what’s good. Honestly, it becomes a pain in my rear. I have to laugh at myself at times because the “motivator” in me hears the words that I often say to others: “Humans are like water. We take the path of least resistance.” We are … let me clear that one up … I am a lazy man when it comes to doing what’s good. It’s tough. It’s inconvenient most of the time. But …

There always has to be a “but.” The Apostle Paul reminds me often about suffering through doing what’s good, what’s right. “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom. 5:3-5).

I think most of us would agree that sometimes you have to suffer to do what’s good. It’s tough. Ask anyone who’s in a committed relationship. The hardest part of being married to me, for instance, is suffering through every day crap and crud to get to what’s good – to get to that little pony in the room full of poo. Just ask my wife. I’m brutal. I’m tough to live with much less a person with whom to have a personal conversation. But you know what? She suffers through the flotsam and jetsam that is “our” marriage and her efforts will eventually pay back huge dividends.

Thanks God for daily reminders of who you are, whose we are, and who we are called to serve – called to suffer for – in doing what’s good.